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Name: Belle
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 3/21/2007

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008




I'll be ready to date again when I look like that.  15 lbs to lose.
15 lbs to lose and sexier clothes.  And the attitude to boot.
15 lbs to lose before I love myself again. 15 lbs to lose before I
allow myself to be loved again.

This is life I suppose.  Pleasure and joy....then Pain and loss.


Saturday, August 30, 2008




We broke up.  Yeah.  He sent me on some errand last week so he could flirt with the new Promo girl he was planning to hire.  I sat alone at the bar most of the night.  Then my friend Bryan came in from work with a bunch of his friends. So I was so excited to talk to someone.  Then my 'knight' came in and interrupted our civil conversation.  "She's my Girl, man.  Just don't want you to waste your time"  but when Bryan left... feeling bullied.  He went right back to the new girl, and left me alone.  She came up to me later, saying what a good friend he said I was.  Later that evening he was tearing down his tab and the waitress said something flippantly, that I was a BEAUTIFUL girl and a lot prettier than the girls he was hiring.  That he was being ridiculous that I deserved a ring, that I was GOLD.  He said back turned to me "I'm not getting her a ring" he didn't think I heard.  I did.

His best friend is a woman named Lisa, he says her place is a home away from home.  He teases the kids to tell the ex husband that they are really his kids. We sat at the diner and he called her and talked to her the whole time.  He sleeps over at her house sometimes.  I am a golden girlfriend.
Last week "Lisa" charged him to borrow her van, then took the van back without telling him.  He still had work so I drove him to and from, multiple times to his show and his house. He was 100 short on paying the electric bill which I gladly and blankly gave.  I let him have my car for two days as long as I got a ride back home from work. While this was going on Lisa was yelling at him for being with me, but she took his the damn van he was renting from her. 
I don't get a Thank you pretty much, and Lisa monopolizes his time.  He can't 'take me to dinner'  because Lisa needed to go over some stuff with him, "Lisa needed me to watch her kids"... "Lisa needed...."  He can't take me to a movie.....
And Lisa........ is fucking obsessed with him. She stalks him at his shows, he can't have a girlfriend.  It's so unfair.

I will never speak to him again.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008




My boyfriend is surrounded by beautiful women all the time.  I love him so much I have to remember to look perfect for him.  Absolutely perfect for him.  There are really no excuses.  You must look perfect for you, for him for your future..... all of that.


Sunday, August 03, 2008

Currently Listening
More Adventurous
By Rilo Kiley
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My new goal is to be 92 lbs.
I'm going to make it happen this month by any means possible.  I am thinking ten lbs each month until I am 92 lbs. 1 and 1 half months. 15 lbs And I will be 92 lbs.  My Birthday is September 17.  Being thin on that day is so important.  I need to ask off... and be that perfect.  Be that thin. Beautiful.


Saturday, August 02, 2008

I picked up the most darling size XS cropped cardigans.  I don't plan to wear a shirt under them.  Because I am 100.5 lbs (actually I gained a few lbs had a HUGE lunch) s'all good. Was 100.5 for about a week there.

Anyway my boyfriend really likes me barely dressed.  I bought a dress that was too short for my comfort- but didn't we just have sex in the car.  In the parking lot.  Oh. My goodness good sex.  Anyway he said he wanted us to wait on sex. That he was going to tell me.  "We're going to have each other when ever we want for the rest of our lives.  There is no other woman, you're sexy as hell (his words lol) I just want to love who you are right now. Then we can be lovers for the rest of the way."

It's a short wait, this I know. We're going to get rings soon. He promised me.  To get through this month. Then make the world know.  He even started to introduce me as......his betrothed.  I am so happy, I cannot wait to be his wife.

I wanna be 92lbs.  I think I'll be perfect at 92 lbs.



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